You Go That Way So We Won't Be Seen Together

Over the last few decades, and probably before, there has been a great gnashing of teeth and rending of garments over the (im)moral content of movies. But, has anyone addressed the morality of movie patrons?

The advent of mulitplex movie houses has put the souls of moviegoers in mortal danger. I'm talking about movie jumpers. (Is that a real term? I just made it up.) Those are the people who plan an entire afternoon around slinking from theater to theater to see as many movies as possible on a single, ridiculously expensive, admission ticket. A willingness to kill time watching the commercials scroll by in empty theaters, to watch 20 minute segments of movies wherein the plot was explained an hour before, and to transverse the connecting bathrooms again and again is required, not to mention a healthy disregard for the possibility that a lighting bolt may strike you dead or, more likely, the snack counter worker bee will call you out.

Karma is such that finding more than one watchable movie conveniently scheduled is extremely rare. So it's a little like eating all five of the Arby's five for $5 deal just because the sandwiches are so cheap. You don't feel very good, but you got a great deal.

For $3 you can see a movie at Jubitz or McMenamins or probably your neighborhood theater if you don't mind ratty seats. Save money, see a decent movie, and avoid the eternal flames of hell. What's not to like?